Favorite Firearms Quotes

[mndoug]

Here's one of mine, by comedian Steven Wright:

   

   "When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"

   

   What are your favorites?

[swolf]

"Outside of a dog, a gun is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog it's too dark to shoot."

   

   Misquoted from Groucho Marx

[coopercdrkey]

"The Terminal Tavern was one of those joints where they stopped you at the door and asked if you had a knife or a gun.  If you said 'no', they gave you one...."

   

   Gamble Rogers

[Randy]

Why do I carry a 45? Because they don't make a 46.  

   Ukn.

   

   When asked if he was expecting trouble because he was wearing his pistol, the old sheriff answered, "Nope. If I was expecting trouble, I'd have brought my rifle."  

   Ukn.

[bud]

RoJer That � Christian � If I Agreed With You, We�d Both Be Wrong.

[tom]

Be not afraid of any foe,

   No matter what his size.

   When danger threatens call on me.

   I will equalize.

   

   Colt motto

[umpire]

I carry a gun , because  

   a cop will not fit in my pocket

[jupiter7]

Two is one, one is none

   

   clint smith

[jupiter7]

"I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it."

   - Clint Eastwood

[chopprs]

I carry a gun because it is much easier to beat the crap out of someone AFTER you shoot them!

[ricart]

Guns have only 2 natural enemies.

   Rust and politicians  

   

   He that liveth by the sword,

   should upgrade to a 12 gauge.

[bud]

"It's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it."

   - Christian Slater

[jack_t]

When asked if the cocked and locked 1911 on his belt was dangerous, Texas Ranger Charlie Miller replied:  "I wouldn't carry the son-of-a-*** if it wasn't dangerous."

[chopprs]

"If da sumbitch wanded a nice, descent burial he shoonta got hizzself kilt in the winter.

    Grounds too hard. He'z ka-yote dinner"

   Rooster Cogburn...

[kywaterdog]

Never pick a fight with an old man.  If he's too old to fight, he'll just shoot you.

[mndoug]

***, these are good... keep 'em coming!

[yzingerr]

Man 1

   "Wow that's a big gun you are carrying, what'r you afraid of?!"

   

   Man 2

   "Absolutely nothing"

[trotterlg]

A gun is just like a parachute, if you ever really need one nothing else will do.  Larry

[bud]

There is a modern Adage that says....

   > If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.

[grayelky]

"Those who beat their guns into plow shares, will be ruled by those who don't."

   

   Common Sense, 2011

[doc_stadig]

I'm surprised this hasn't shown up yet.

   Never bring a knife to a gun fight!

   

   

   Doc

[forrestking]

Yzinger's quote reminded me of a joke:  

   A man gets stopped by the police and he advises the officer that he is carrying firearms in the vehicle.  The officer inquires as to the location of the gun and the type.  The citizen replies, "Well, I've got a 1911 on my hip, a 12 gauge on the back floor, a 38 S&W revolver in the glove box, a little .380 in the door pocket, and an Ar-15 in the trunk."  The officer pauses and asks if the man is headed to the firing range, "no" comes the polite reply.  The officer inquires if he is moving, or coming from the gun store, the pawn shop, or hunting.  "No" is the reply each time.  The officer, clearly frustrated says, "well what the hell are you afraid of?".  The man replies... "Me? Not a *** thing."

[wildtim]

Better the .22 you are carrying than the .45 you left at home.

[airplinker]

"We'll need our guns for squirrels and such"    

        The kid from Outlaw Josey Wales.

[yzingerr]

One you may recognise:

   

   Is it an effective deterrent? Would you want to be shot with one?

[lewiss]

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would likely blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?  

   

   Harry Callahan

[coopercdrkey]

In Houston everyone owns guns and uses 'em - sometimes just for the hell of it.

     

   Shelley Duvall  

   

   

   Some parents say it is toy guns that make boys warlike. But give a boy a rubber duck and he will seize its neck like the butt of a pistol and shout "Bang!"  

   

   George Will

[troodon]

What did you shoot him with, a .38?  38, 39, whatever it takes.  "Mr Mom"(the movie)

[troodon]

Sgt. Early: [at the target range] Remember, guys, you're usin' real live ammunition! A bullet hasn't got any brains! It'll hit whatever you're aimin' at, so don't start murdering each other! "SGT York"

[troodon]

Rooster Cogburn: Why, by God, girl, that's a Colt's Dragoon! You're no bigger than a corn nubbin, what're you doing with all this pistol?

   

   Mattie Ross: [watching Rooster load his revolver] Why do you keep that one chamber empty?

    Rooster Cogburn: So I won't shoot my foot off

[airplinker]

38 ,39..... I love it! Forgot all about that one.

[cedarview kid]

Ah, crud, I was just about to post the .38-.39 quote, but Troodon just beat me to it! ;)

[mndoug]

LEWISS --> I like what the prone perp replied to Dirty Harry: "Hey... I gotz ta know!"

   

   There are so many good Eastwood gun quotes (or somehow related to guns) we could have a thread dedicated just to those!  Most of my favs are from the greatest western ever made, Unforgiven:

   

   WILL MUNNY:  "Well, he shoulda armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend."

   

   -- or --

   

   ENGLISH BOB: [discussing the assassination of President Garfield] Well there's a dignity to royalty. A majesty that precludes the likelihood of assassination. If you were to point a pistol at a king or a queen, your hands would shake as though palsied.  

   MAN: Oh I wouldn't point no pistol at nobody sir.  

   ENGLISH BOB: Well that's a wise policy, a wise policy. But if you did, I can assure you, if you did, that the sight of royalty would cause you to dismiss all thoughts of bloodshed and you would stand... how shall I put it... in awe. Now, a president... well I mean... [chuckles]... why not shoot a president?

[westerly1965]

Troodon Welcome to the Forum!

[bud]

If guns kill people then pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk and spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat."

   - Author Unknown