New knife

[woodstockdoug]

I know all you will probably immediately tell me I could have/should have gotten some other better faster bigger sharper cheaper knife, and I'll enjoy your recommendations and know you're right, but I am STILL so pleased with the new knife I bought yesterday.  I can't rave about it enough.

   

   It is a Kershaw Onion.  How this is not legally a switchblade, I don't understand, but at least here in NY, it is not legally a switchblade.  But, although it is *not* a switchblade, when you touch the bump on the back of the knife, the blade flips out instantly, with a "power assist" (meaning a spring.)

   

   I was studying for a test in one of the little college coffee shops, and this cute girl wanted to open a bag of chips.  She smoothly, in one motion, pulled a knife off her belt, and it went "click" and suddenly there was this blade in her hand.  She flicked her wrist and the top of the bag of chips was missing.  Gotta love a cute girl who's really good with a knife.  I said, "wow!  cool knife!" and she looked over, smiled, and said, "yeah, this one is OK, but this one is even nicer..." and pulled another, bigger one off the other side of her belt.  She let me play with them for a few minutes, and I wrote down the brand names, and immediately lost that scrap of paper.  My favorite gun store sells the Kershaw, which has the exact same action, but seems a little smaller and cheaper than hers, but it was close enough so I bought it.  

   

   Even though hers were nicer, I'm still so pleased with this one.  And NO!, I didn't get her number or even her name, since my wife doesn't especially appreciate me collecting co-ed's numbers, and I don't want my wife to join the Lorena Bobbit copycat club.  Wait.. did I say something about how you gotta love cute girls with knives?  Maybe you don't want to marry one.  

   Peace

   Woodstock Doug

[lsr118]

Hi Woodstockdoug, Kershaw is A Knife Company.

   Ken Onion is A Knife Maker. They have agreed on colaberating on  some items. I have three I can lay hands on. Good chance more some where? Of the three I can see; The Boa is High dollar. Bump on the back helps alot! The Scallion The Chive. I like them A lot. I have A bunch of pocket knives (300+) I use the Kershaw Blackout alot.

   Scott  

[GeorgeH]

My wife thinks that Bobbit screwed up my using a pairing knife. According to my wife, that is why God invented pinking shears....

[woodstockdoug]

I went back and looked at the box; this one is the Scallion, $39.95.

   

   My only guess as to why it isn't a switchblade is that, the "button" that releases it is actually the back of the blade.  So, you are actually pressing the blade to open it, rather than a mechanical device.  All technicality aside, it's a switchblade, and it's just too cool to describe if you haven't played with one.  

   

   Bobbit should have used a lawyer and not a knife... she could have done more long term damage and stayed out of jail.  Knives and guns are for self-defense; heavy weight, high caliber attorneys are the best offensive weapon I know of.  And even if there is a *tiny shred* of poetic justice in what she did, stabbing a sleeping man simply isn't, and will never be, self-defense.

   Peace

   Woodstock Doug

[GeorgeH]

Hi Woodstockdoug:

   

   What self-defense?

   

   As I understand it, she engaged in anal sex with her husband who was able to achieve orgasm. Afterwards, he went to sleep and she was angry that he did not do what he need to do in order to allow her to achieve an orgasm as well. She felt that he was being selfish (which he was). But that does not justify cutting off his pecker and chucking out of a second story window.

   

   Yes, her lawyers tried to argue the "burning bed" defense--a delayed reaction to a prior history of abuse, but it didn't work. Thank God.  

   

   Moral of the story--make certain that your wife goes to sleep first with a smile on her face.

[GeorgeH]

Oh, start collecting co-ed numbers. When your wife asks why, just tell her that you are establishing an "on-deck" list, just in case a substitution is needed.

   

   Then duck and seek cover. It will be a good excerise in testing your reaction time in avoiding incoming projectiles.