SOLICITORS!!!

[chopprs]

I said I was gonna do it and I did. 8:00 this morning (SUNDAY!!!) the *** Jehova's Witnesses knocked on my door. I got out of bed and looked out the window, pulled off my sweats and answered the door buk nekked with shotgun on my shoulder....they RAN back to their mini-van.  

   I don't think they will come back now. I mean REALLY?!?!?! They have been here at least twice a month as long as I have been here.

   What part of GO AWAY!!!!! don't you get?

   Well, they get it now!

[Dinadan]

This thread needs photos!

[chopprs]

....trust me, your imagination would do you better!

[cedarview kid]

Having been a Mormon missionary who has knocked on plenty of doors myself, I think I would have been absent all of my bejeebies as well and halfway down the street at the sight of you. Hehe.

   

   It was our policy to never be out doing this sort of thing before 9:30am anyway and generally we didn't go knocking on doors that early. Door-knocking wasn't our primary activity, either, thank goodness; it's not fun and it's not very productive, frankly (especially not at 8am, I'd imagine, LOL).

   

   8am on a Sunday is just stupid. I mean, don't jayDubs go to Church in the morning? LOL.

[gunr]

You don't want to see Chops in the buff! Don't ask me how I know that.

[pogo]

OK.

[Uncle_Lee]

I told you that would work.

   

   

   R2

[chopprs]

I am pretty tolerant but I would imagine that after this long and how many times I have told them that I am not interested they would get it. If they come back I hope they bring some cute girls because I will know what they REALLY want!

[mndoug]

Standing there naked with a shotgun, you could have been charged with "Assault With A Dead Weapon," you know!

   

   Like you, I once had an early Sunday morning knock on the door, and my wife went to see who it was.  I was expecting a group like the one that visited you, but I heard my wife involved in some heated mumbling, and then she firmly closed the door.  When when she returned, I asked her "What was that about?"

   

   She said a lady in our neighborhood was accusing us of letting our dog do his daily doody on her lawn during its walk each morning.  (We didn't.)  But to make her point, she had scooped up a fresh pile on a shovel, and had brandished it on our doorstep ss "exhibit A."

   

   I said "Whaaaattttt?" and - with a serious case of bedhead hair, and wearing only my loose robe - I lept up, ran to the front door and yanked it open.  I caught the woman about halfway down our driveway, shovel of sh*t in hand.

   

   "HEY!" I yelled... "What the HELL do you think you're doing, bringing that to our door on a Sunday morning.  We don't let our dog do that in other peoples' yards," I told her, adding "But if I knew where you lived, I'd come and sh*t in your yard myself!"

   

   The lady appeared to walk a bit more briskly and we never heard from her again.  Sometimes crazy is good!

[chopprs]

I had a neighbor knock on my door and proceed to tell me that my barn was old and in disrepair and he would take it off my hands, being the nice guy that he is.

   My barn was built in 1860 and is framed with 16X16s and 20X20 Red Oak beams! It doesn't leak a drop and I keep all kinds of cool stuff in there.

   He got the door slammed in his face, I then opened it back up and told him as he walked away that if I caught him in the barn he would get shot mistaken for a wild animal living in there!

   Some people just don't deserve to share my air!

[gunr]

Chops'

   Your a tough act to fallow!

[cedarview kid]

Hey Chops, can I have your barn? I'll send you my address, if you want to ship it.

   

   

[bustedknee]

You guys should try being more friendly, like me.

   

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[korak]

I told my son that when I died, I wanted my ashes loaded in my old double barrel shotgun and shot at the first Jahova's witness that came down the driveway.

[lohman446]

 They don't come to my house.  My closest neighbor is a 1/4 mile away.  Guess its just not population dense enough.  Its been years since I have had the chance to have one of those interesting "my religion is right, all others are wrong" conversations.  I do enjoy them.  

   

   That and because of the rural nature of where I live I generally have my 357 in my hand when I open the door if not on my belt.

[gunr]

Is the belt loaded?

[lohman446]

Only with the 5 rounds of 357 sitting in the 357, and the other five in the speed loader.

[gunr]

Opps! I miss-read your post, I thought you said you had a .357 in one hand, and a belt in the other, another Senior moment.

   Anyway, sounds like you've got it well covered.

[Moderndayedison]

There are actually old barn collectors Chopprs.

   They recycle the wood on new home construction

   projects for interior design elements and it  

   has become a popular trend to build new homes

   that look like old barns with recycled material.

   

   It is big money from what I understand.

   Not so much for the doner as for the collector

   that recycles or reclaims the old timber.

   

   As for the Jahovas Whitnesses, I understand

   what your saying completely. I used to get

   bugged and pestered by them all the time.

   

   But I took a slightly different approach.

   I was working on my old 1961 International

   pickup truck in the driveway one morning when

   two of them showed up dressed in black and  

   white wearing loafers holding their Bibles.

   

   "May we have a minute or two of your time?"

   They asked, while standing there like a couple

   of first day freshmen ripe for the picking.

   

   I thought I would do the unexpected.

   I offered them a glass of iced tea because it

   was a hot day and set out two more lawnchairs.

   And I said..."Shoot, what's on your mind?"

   

   I just let them talk, and talk, and talk.

   And when they were fairly done I said "Now what

   is your point, why are you here, surely you didn't

   make this trip just to tell me Gold cares for me?"

   

   They just looked at me with a puzzled look,

   and then they looked at eachother with the  

   same puzzled look, then we all took another

   sip of our Sweet Iced Tea. Then I proceeded

   to tell them all about the world according

   to MDE.....when all was said and done each

   of them gave me $10 for my time and walked

   on down the street scatching their heads.

   Not sure exactly what to believe.

   

   Same result, they never returned.

   

   

   -MDE

   

   .

[lauraslookout]

Good one MDE. Glad to see you back with us. Jim

[chopprs]

"The world according to MDE".....now THAT is a book that would be an interesting read!!!!

[westerly1965]

I would read that book would have to at least be good for some laughs...

[oleshep]

i have 3 dogs that don't like strangers@ the front door. The jehova witnesses came a knocking I told them that I was Catholic & wasn't interested. When they wouldn't take no for an answer I backed away from the door & said come on in but I must warn you that my dogs are Catholic also. They listened to my dogs & haven't been back since

[chopprs]

......did you have a shotgun and yer junk hangin'?

[chopprs]

......Pretty funny,

   THEY CAME BACK TODAY!

   

   It was two HUGE guys! LOLOLOLOLOLOL.....

   

   I answered the door with my gallon jug of Jim Beam in my hand, acted hammered (it was 9 am) and told them to go screw and slammed the door.

   I wonder who they will send next? the Nun with the ruler to whack me on the knucles? LOL!

[gunr]

King Kong is next!

[ArmedPatriot]

I LOOOVe the JW's.

   Every time they stop by I invite them in and then proceed to preach at them so they can find Jeeeesus.

   They never come back for another visit while Im living wherever it is.

   After I move to a new place a few years later I usually get another JW visit.....once....