Talking frog

[chopprs]

What we anticipate seldom occurs. What we least expect generally occurs.- Benjamin Disraeli.  

   

   

   A guy is 62 years old and loves to fish.  

   

   He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

   He looked around and couldn't see anyone.  

   

   He thought he was dreaming, when he heard the voice say

   again, "Pick me up."  

   

   He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

   

   The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

   

   The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.  I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!"

   

   The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.

   

   The frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?" I said, "Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride."

   

   The man opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog."

[mhg]

Now that is one smart man

[gunr]

Was that you Chops? The one who put the frog in his pocket?

[chopprs]

.....LOL, ya never know man!

[bud]

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a

   stool After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.  The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,'

   he replied, 'Arthritis.'

[Uncle_Lee]

I don't want any talking frog around either.

   What would you feed it? We don't have any flies or bugs.

   

   I guess I would just skin it out and eat its legs.

[blitzkrieger]

LOL @ Bud

   Reminds me of a time I went to the grocery store craving crab legs. Went to the meat dept and asked the lady behind the counter if she has crabs........ After a long hard pause, she replied "no" but we sell crab legs. lol

[santa]

#1 The checks in the mail.

    #2 Dont worry dear, Ive had a vasectomy.

    #3 Im from the government and Im here to help you

    #4 I will respect you in the morning.

    #5 Guns cause crime.

    #6 Politition- "I will lower taxes"

    #7 Ill neverv look at another woman

    #8 Ill never look at another man

    #9 Ill never buy another gun, I have enough.

[bud]

There is a number 10, but I don't have the nerve to put it on here!